What can I remember, ok, well earlier in the day, Tara and I had breakfast and well, you know those cereal boxes that have the really cool treats at the bottom of them? Kind of like cracker jacks? Well my corn flakes were so calling to me and there was supposedly this limited edition figurine at the bottom of Lara Croft or something so I went finagling looking for it and then the box broke wide open just as Tara was walking into our kitchen and all the corn flakes and milk went everywhere! Miss Kitty was thrilled of course she'd have extra milk and such but Tara just gave me a look like if you wanted the toy so badly Willow we could've scooped it out much easier.
And then there were the jokes about Xander's deluxe tool belt. I mean I don't really stare but I mean Xander's got some nice handy tools now. Helps him in those hard to reach areas of construction type stuff. Ok that's all you're getting out of me about that. Tara made most of the dirty jokes. Don't let that kind of soft exterior fool you, Tara can say naughty things when the time comes of course. But again you didn't hear that from me.
So I was a little sulky. Not to mention the whole I think Lizard men are stalking us and after what happened in the park I was getting a little concerned. Disoriented time, things going wacky. I was really thinking we should probably call Buffy pretty soon and deal with things. I mean rain storms just don't happen that quickly well in one spot anyway and to me physics gets involved. I was pretty sure something mystical was at work here. It was just a matter of figuring things out. Tara and I were convinced we had to do something but we weren't sure what because we weren't sure why our attackers were after us in the first place. I really was worried, because if anything happened to Tara, I don't know what I'd do.
Tara kept reassuring me we'd figure this out and then researching led to um, other things on the couch and soft long trailing kisses across the neck and something about car engines. Again I don't really remember all of those details. Wait, I do but I'm feeling a little too bruised right now to get into it. Tara was doing her best to make me forget about all of the icky things previously and dare I say she was doing a great job, and I would've returned the favor but Miss Kitty once again interrupted us. I tried to shoo her away and so did Tara, because well, it was Willow-Tara time and such but Miss Kitty would have none of it. We've been keeping her indoors because of the lizard men and such but she was begging to go out. I let her out and then I heard her hiss very loudly.
I told Tara I'd be right back and when I went outside I found Miss Kitty in full defensive mode, her back fully arched, her ears standing on end and I knew something was wrong. "Miss Kitty, what is it?" I went to pick her up and I was jumped from behind. I managed to toss Miss Kitty back inside but then these guys, who I noticed while kicking and flailing had the long tails. Lizard men! I squirmed and tried to fight and all but then I remembered, hello, not a Slayer and these guys dragged me to behind the bushes. I tried to scratch and flail and I couldn't. I screamed Tara as loud as I could and saw one of the glass bottles we had left on the porch for recycling, go flying before I got knocked out.
Next thing I know I'm laying here all strapped to Spike's crypt, tied with ropes. I swallowed. What on earth was I doing here? I didn't know what happened and I thought Spike had left town but I guess not. "Hello cutey," He snickered over me. I glanced around and saw the lizard men. "Welcome home."
I swallowed again. Hard. "Spike, w-w-what do you want?" I tried to tug with the ropes but I felt nothing but pain.
"What do I want? See that's not the question you should be asking witch. The real question is why are you here?"
I nodded. "That um, thought sorta did cross my mind. Do you need me to do another spell, bring you back Drusilla I mean, I can do that, you know and this time it'd work."
He leaned forward and grabbed me by the jaw. "No. I need you to just shut up and listen well bint. My lizard men are going to finally do something I couldn't do which is kill the Slayer and your scoobie friends." He let my jaw go.
"Oh that's real big of you Spike," I hissed back. "I mean and here I thought you'd turn over a new leaf."
And then I remembered maybe I shouldn't talk.