Willow Rosenberg (willowwitch) wrote in extramagicky,
Willow Rosenberg
willowwitch
extramagicky

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This is the tough part isn't it?

So Dungeons and Dragons was probably a great way to release the stress part of what had gone on. I had things on my mind but hey when Xander is the Dungeon Master you do not question his motives. Except of course when he starts to cheat because I was a mage and so kicking with the hit points against his dragons in his lair.

"No fair, you can't use an destruction spell on my black ice dragon?" Xander shot at me in disbelief. "He's got ice to freeze you!"

I smirked. "Oh Xand, you forgot about my indestructible cloaking spell. Therefore, I can use the element of surprise, as shown by the 8 sided die and therefore I move ahead."

Tara giggled at me. "I think the mage has a point here, Xand."

He sighed at me. "Fine fine fine, but you must take some hits!"

"Oh great Dungeon Master, very well, I bow to the greatness of you," I giggled and rolled the dice again and it gave me 9 hit points of damage against me. "Curses," I laughed. "Foiled again. Guess I'm out."

Xander leaned forward on the table. "Yes guess your indestructible cloaking spell wasn't so indestructible after all."

Buffy shook her head. "Aren't we glad this isn't saving the world? I mean.."

I tilted my head. "Good point Buffy."

Dawn grinned. "Hey at least I didn't die!"

I stood up from the table. "And right that pretty much sums it up my existence huh?"

Tara looked at me. "Ok we should get on home."

I nodded, "Yup, homebound. Busy day and all." Buffy came over to me and touched me lightly on the shoulder. "You sure you're alright to go home, you can always crash here with Tara."

I gave a small smile to Buffy, "No it's ok, I got my girl to take care of me."

Tara lowered her head and we left Buffy's and headed on home. As we started to walk on home I started to feel a chill. And not a weather chill. A chill run down my spine. I guess Tara noticed something was off as we approached the apartment. "Is everything ok Willow, you seem a little quiet since we left Buffy's."

I nodded. "Uh huh. Just, want to get inside."

We got into the apartment and the chill turned into thoughts as we walked up the stairs. Miss Kitty Fantastico was meowing at my leg as we entered the bedroom and I kind of jumped back. Thoughts began to drift about what Spike did to me as I slid off one shoe. Thoughts about how he touched me. Touched me in all the wrong ways. As if there's a right way for him to touch anyone.

I kicked off both my shoes and Miss Kitty sensing of course I really didn't want to be bothered scampered out of the room. I slid back into the bed with a sigh. Tara joined me, "So Xander, big dungeon master cheater huh?" She gave me a lopsided grin.

"Hmm." I was distracted and I knew it. Thoughts of Spike touching me. Running through me. Over. And over. They wouldn't stop.

"Busy head again huh?" Tara looked me right in the eyes.

"Oh yeah. Very, busy." She leaned to give me a kiss and I pulled away. "Willow, what's wrong?"

"Sorry, it's not you, it's me, I just.." I couldn't finish. How could I tell Tara any of this? What would she think, I mean, she'd probably think I did something wrong or maybe I should've done something to stop it.

Tara frowned at me and sat up. "It's ok, I'm being selfish you had a long day. I have to go clean up something in the kitchen. I'll be back and then we can snuggle ok sweetie?"

I nodded and turned over and then the shakes started.

Violently.

Then the tears came.

Violently.

I tried to sleep and couldn't and woke up screaming. All I could feel was his hands all over me. Touching, grabbing. It was just horrible. I couldn't stop him.

"Will!" Tara came over to me and tried to cradle me. I pushed her away. "It hurts, it hurts."

She grabbed me and wouldn't let me go. "It's ok sweetie, it's just a dream. I'm here, I'm here."

I don't know the whole events after that. I think I sobbed and then I just drifted. And she was there to calm me.
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